Who AM I?

 

I had the above conversation last night with a fellow teacher, who is going through the same thing as me. We both graduated in May but have yet to be blessed with our own classrooms. She is a stellar teacher and an amazing person. What she doesn’t know is that her words truly blessed me last night. I think in the midst of my disappointment, I have been getting lost in sorrow and not paying attention to, who I am. Above all, I am a child of God, and I have no business second guessing the awesome person he has created me to be. I think it is human nature to be disappointed with yourself when things go wrong but dwelling in that disappointment is not what God wants you to do. So thank you to Briana for reminding me of what matters and of how, God's time is not our time. It’s funny how God places people in your life to teach something, at just the right moments. 

In other news, I am sitting at work and I have about an hour left on the clock. The best thing about today, is that time seems to be sailing by. I have plans tonight and really would like to go home, prep my hair, and take a nap. Don’t judge me:) Also the kids have given me random hugs all day; they must know they worked me over yesterday.

3 a Day Positive Rant:

1) I have something to look forward to but I don’t want to give away any details until it happens. So just know this is positive news and when the time comes, I will come clean about it.

2) Today was Fun Friday, so we had a pretty chill day. The kids are still acting bonkers but Fun Friday helped me get through it. I am just going to chalk this behavior up to there being a full moon. I don’t know if the moon is full but I have confirmed that the full moon, makes some people act totally irrational, crazy, insanely hyper, and/or all three of the afore mentioned.

3) I found two inspirational quotes that made my day. The Sprite helped too but since I have been on a break from soda for about 3 months, I don’t think that counts. 

God is everywhere, so pray anywhere.

“The temptation to quit will be greatest right before you are about to succeed…” 

CHINESE PROVERB

Have a great weekend, everybody. Do something that you will enjoy and take some time to yourself.
Until the next time life have checked me.
-T

It Gets Better

Today at work was so exhausting and I can honestly say, "I don't get paid enough for this," went through my mind so many times! That motivation that I had yesterday left quick, fast, and in a hurry! I am so tired of complaining but My God, I can’t help it, in these conditions. I literally ran out of work today because the kids were horrible today and when I say horrible, I am being far too kind. I have around 10 students on a good day between the ages of 2 and 5. When I tell you that I am being stretched and pulled to the limits, I am not kidding. Teaching 2 year olds is very demanding because they have no attention span and their behavior is all over the place. Add in the older students who see the 2 year olds acting a straight fool and they want to jump on board. Because I was getting over whelmed, I tried to introduce centers into our day, so that I could work with small groups. It was CRAZY and solely because of the 2 year olds, epic fail! Tomorrow I am going in with a new plan but if their behavior is anything like it has been for the last few days, I predict a repeat of today. Ugh, #JobLessTeacherProblems

Despite the craziness, I did finish my window and wall displays. Take a look below.

"Fall Into the Fun"

Now onto some positivity! Below you will find my three positive things a day rant.

1) I went to partake in some retail therapy. A few weeks ago I won a gift card to Ross Dress for Less from a fellow blogger. I finally put that into good use, it was for $25. I got two dresses and some speakers for around $40 bucks. Good deals! What’s even better is that I was in and out of there, in about 30 minutes. Talk about a woman on a mission.

2) I have a full tank of gas. With gas prices being so ridiculous, I don’t always have the luxury of filling him up. Today I found some pretty cheap gas and was able to do so. #ThatsThatStuffIDoLike

3) Tomorrow is Friday and at 4pm, I get a break from work and stressing for two days! I have a pretty packed weekend ahead, including a party and a comedy show. I am sure I will have some crazy awkward tales to tell you. 

Until the next time life has checked me,

-T

Life is a Whoot!

SMILE:D

Hello:) I hope that you are doing well and enjoying this cool weather. I am currently at my daytime gig during my office hours, the kids have been sleep for almost an hour. Today I was struck with some motivation so I am really getting some things done. I started two projects with the kids for the fall and have started on more applications, yay me! This is the kind of stuff I like to report about!

One of the projects we did was a dotted tree using our hand as a tree and dots as leaves. I will post a picture once I have created my window display with the finished product. Next I started on mini owls for a wall in our classroom using construction paper, crepe paper, and glue. They were both pretty easy to administer, except the painting was crazy. I think we are done with paint for a while.

Peep my example below.

 

Now onto my three positive things for today. 

1) I got a free 24oz Coffee this morning. Free is my kind of price. When I went to the register to pay for my items, I saw the Crime Times and decided to purchase one. The cashier then proceeds to tell me that its a must see and I would probably know someone in there. Excuse the hell out of me but no ma'am, that's not ok. She looked like she was my age so she probably thought I would catch the joke. Funny, ha, ha but No. I just stared at her O_o

2) I remembered that I won a gift card to Ross. So I plan on going shopping tomorrow after work. Retail therapy has been needed since forever ago. Never mind that Ross is in the mall I hate most but I am sure this will be an adventure.

3) I am having a give a way for this blog. It will include a candle from Senteur Exotics and a custom picture frame. I will give details on how to enter next week. I am excited and look forward to this.

Until the next time life has checked me.

-T

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Hello there Lovelies! Today was a smooth day! No hard feelings were given toward my current situation besides the fact that I have come to terms with applying to different jobs. I am going to check on my Subbing application this week as well. Work was tiring today, so I am gonna keep todays post simple and go just over my three positive things:)

1) Oppum Gangam Style (See Video Above) This video just makes me laugh and I love this man! LOL! I think I have watched this video daily since I found it on Tumblr. The simple things make me happy and this man's contagious energy is one. Besides laughter is the best Awesome medicine.

2) I bought a book today for $1. Besides the fact that I am cheap and love a deal, I am excited to get into this book. I really enjoy reading, #NerdStatus. It's called Sunday at Tiffany's and was written by James Patterson. I heard he was a good author, so I will let you know.

3) An Afternoon Nap. I get off early on Tuesdays and Thursdays because I go in at 6:30am and today I enjoyed an afternoon nap, under my comfy covers. A simple pleasure is falling asleep in a happy place and today mine, was falling asleep while reading. Its a natural progression after a long day.

I am ready to face tomorrow and I am in good spirits. Go ahead and look at that video again and I will keep it hush hush if you try and attempt that dance, lol. I did and I giggled for a good thirty minutes.

Until the next time life has checked me.
-T

Positivity Calls

Yesterday at church the first part of the sermon convicted me. Basically Pastor was stating that Gods time is not our time. Just because he has not given me something that I want right now, doesn’t mean that it is not coming. It was kind of hard hearing something that you know you need to hear but don’t want to listen to. As much as I wanted to plug my ears, the truth wouldn’t let me. I have been getting too comfortable in my own misery and depression about not teaching.  Letting go is easy, what’s hard is remembering and then having to let go of the hurt again. I think I am improving though because it stings a little less when I hear my friends talking about their classrooms. It still hurts but just not as deep, if that makes any sense. It’s ok, if it doesn’t. 

 Do you remember that little string of positivity that I have been holding on to? I have decided to make it longer and find three things a day that I am thankful for. This should help me continue to grow and work out these sad, sappy feelings because frankly I’m over it.  I will try to post the three things daily and if I forget, don’t make me sadder and remind me that I am slipping, lol. Eh, not funny?

So here she blows, day 1:

1^st – I am thankful to be alive. Of course I was going to use this, it’s easy but I promise I won’t use it again.  On a serious note, I am taking into account that someone who was breathing last night, is not today, so I am really am thankful to be here, hardships and all.

2^nd- I have a job. Is it my dream job, ummmm No! Not to be a broken record but you know the deal. It’s not easy living from paycheck to paycheck but its paying the bills right now. I’m gaining more experience but I can’t help to wonder if schools give a damn? Having over a year’s worth of experience did nothing for my interviews.   Sorry, forgive me, I really am thankful to have a job. 

3^rd – Its Fall! I am a true lover of this season and am giddy with joy even if you can’t tell. I love the colors of fall, the weather, the clothes, and the holidays.  Let me not forget to mention that my birthday is in the fall as well. I’m not normally extremely excited for my birthday but this year I am. I will be 25. I’m not scared of aging; it’s just one more year closer to what I hope to be stability by 30. 

I am sure this will get a little more difficult, as the days go by but I am ready for the distraction. Before I go, I would like to share a thought that I had this morning. Smile because of the things that are and don’t frown because of the things that aren’t. Sometimes, most of the time in my case, the person we are hardest on is ourselves. I know in my case it comes from comparing my success to others and not seeing myself as doing just as good. Maybe we need to realize that when looking from a distance the grass will always look greener on the other side but who cares? Let’s buy some fertilizer or some seeds and get our grass to be what we want it to be. If you are not scared to put in the work, I won’t be either. I’m holding you accountable.

Until the next time life has checked me.

-T

Writing to Clear My Head

So I was sitting here at work thinking  and just needed to get some stuff out. I love my current job but its not my dream job. I work at a daycare, with great people and lovable kids. I teach but the kids know this is a "daycare" so they arent feeling me testing my teaching on them. I was thinking about my last interview and I really thought I nailed it! I forgot to leave my resume behind and that is the only negative thing I can say about the interview. I sent my resume and cover letter to the principal, so maybe that helped. Hopefully it didnt hurt my chances of getting the job. I actually really like the school and think that I would be a good fit to their team. Its for a first grade position, two steps above the age I teach now. Should be a piece of cake because these daycare kids are no joke. They are some pretty smart cookies:)

So here I go thinking again and I start thinking of more stuff I could have said at my last interview. Dont you hate that? Like when your in an argument and you dont say anything witty but when its over, you think off all these splendiforous retorts you could have said? I totally just pulled that word out of nowhere but you can add it to your dictionary.

Oh well its over now. Im still confident about how it went though. They asked me why I should be chosen over the other applicants and I said because I am an artist, I am creative, loyal, hardworking, and I love what I do. I really wanted to say because I am the best choice and Im awesome but I thought better of it. I didnt want to seem conceited but I totally am when it comes to my work. Im good at what I do and I have a true love for it. I like this blogging thing, its building up my confidence in the face of rejection. Let me pat myself on the back! You can give yourself a pat too, if you like.
Until the next time life has checked me.
-T

Its You, Not Me and Hello by the Way

Welcome to the Awkward Teacher! That person is me; I'm awkward without even trying. I suppose it makes my life a little more interesting. I am a 4'9, chunky, mouth breather that resides in Louisville, Ky. I have a recognizable lisp and I usually wear my hair in a big afro puff. I don’t know if that turns people off but damn it, I love me and the big ball on the top of my head. I created this blog as an outlet for me to discuss my awkwardness and my road to gaining my own classroom. I graduated in May, it’s currently September and I am still without a teaching job. On May 12, 2012 I thought I had it made after graduation but it was just a set up for a series of unfortunate events.

Shall I start at the beginning? No, ok that's cool. I'll just jump right in.

The journey to my own classroom started by completing a group interview for Jefferson County Public Schools here in Kentucky. An, interview that was said to only be a "celebration" of completing student teaching but turns out, it wasn’t, go figure. After being the only student teacher in Louisville to not get the email about setting up an appointment for the group interview, I sought out the information on my own. You would think that after this, I would have saw that nothing good was going to come of it. Since I like to stay positive, I kept it moving. I arrived at the interview sight early because I like to get the awkwardness started right away and I hate being late. So since I was early, I got to go ahead and start my interview. I walk in, all smiles and the first thing this lady says is, "Good you are early, you're my last one." Umm, how do you respond to that? Naturally I gave her an uneasy smile and said “I’m Shatia, nice to meet you.” I guess I didn’t make a good impression because I was never called after that. Wow, that actually hurt to write that but I’m over it.

Next, the whole summer passes and I still haven’t been called. All the while tenured teachers are telling me that no one has been hired yet. But I am constantly seeing my friends post about signing contracts on Facebook. I’m congratulating them but that inner voice that we all have is wondering, why am I, not good enough?

Queue, to someone giving me the hint that I should contact the hiring person for elementary schools. I did through email because let’s face it, if I had did this in person, I would have messed this opportunity up. So in the email, I ask what else can I do to get my name out there. Well I was told that I would just have to wait because I have done everything BUT the very next day, I started getting calls for interviews. Imagine my happiness and joy after being in the dark for so long.
So now it is September 21 and I have had 4 interviews, I have had 3 no's and since I haven’t heard from the last school, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that they are still deciding. When in my heart, I know they would have called already. This is depressing. Imagine the mind games between my thoughts and emotions. What has been my biggest torture, is the time that I have to sit and think about being a failure. It’s not a good feeling, not at all. After months of going through this, I am sick of it, so I started this blog to help me sort all of this out. Its working, it’s actually therapeutic.

The road to my own classroom has been a struggle and I mean the ultimate struggle. First it was no calls, to four interviews, and back to no calls again. What an emotional roller coaster! I know that I am an awesome teacher and I really would like to know how I am not convincing these SBDM committees. In the midst of my awkward silences, smiles, and nervousness, can they not see the light in my eyes, when I talk about my teaching? I love teaching and am seriously bugged out that I am not doing it.

I am finally at a place where I have realized that maybe it’s not going to happen this year. My disappointment and understanding of the events that have happened since graduation have happened in segments. I won’t say that it’s never going to happen because that’s just not me. One thing that I have learned in this ordeal is that being positive makes a world of difference. It might be the smallest piece of positive that I am clinging to but it’s getting me through the toughest moments. I’m in a good place today but I’m not promising that tomorrow will be the same.
Until next time life has checked me,
-T