Doing This In My Own Way

Is your struggle meant for other people to understand? I believe that whatever struggle that you are going through, it is meant for you to understand and if other people don't get it that is ok. If it’s not happening to them, why should they care to understand? I say this to say, watch who you share your feelings about your struggle with. If it is someone who is willing to talk and give honest feedback so be it and if it’s not, that's a risk that may hurt you in the end. Some of my family and a few of the people that I know just don’t seem to understand that I am struggling through this situation. How could I not be when I am fighting to do the very thing that I love! Six years in college with a degree change and finally I have my degree but I am not putting it to use. Hell yes, I am struggling and it is affecting me. Sometimes I am up and sometimes I am down but that’s just what happens when life is giving you a rough time. Am I not allowed to get through my problems in my own way? I think I do deserve that much. I just don’t want to end up bitter so I need to get through this in my own way.  

With the help of a professional friend, I have come to the realization that not gaining a job has been making me feel inadequate. Sometimes you can’t control what you think and the way you feel. During the conversation she told me that the principals advice, was making me feel less than. And to be honest it did because I thought I was doing a good job, smiling, answering questions, and asking questions. I told her I don’t know why I was so bummed out about one person’s opinion and that I was just going to take it, try to fix it, and remain positive. At the end of our talk, she told me that I have great coping skills and that venting is healthy. I am glad that I seem to be facing these problems in the right way because Lord knows I would be a complete mess if I always let the negative weigh me down.

After I finish this post, I am taking a break from thinking about this teaching situation and a job. I will get back on track in a couple of days; I hope that this decision doesn’t bite me in the end. I will still post to my blog if I am moved to, lol.

3 A Day Positive Rant

• This is going to sound so fat but I have some chocolate ice cream at home, that I can’t wait to get to. Lol! I have been cutting back on a lot of stuff and I think I deserve a treat.

• Today is payday! Hopefully I have enough left over to buy myself something after I budget my expenses. I want to knit me a scarf and there is a book that I would like to buy. I am so thankful to have a means to pay my bills. I'd rather be broke and have all of my bills paid and gas in the car than to spend it on something that I don't need.

• I am helping my sorority with their props for a step show. We are a little late on getting started, so I hope we finish on time. I will be sure to take pics of the finished product.

Until the next time that life has checked me.
-T